Section from my Organizational Behaviour textbook

Basic Principles of Effective Communication

Let’s consider some basic principles of effective face-to-face communication.68

Take the Time

Good communication takes time. Managers in particular have to devote extra effort to developing good rapport with employees. Not taking adequate time often leads to the selection of the wrong communication medium. One of your authors has seen a “don’t do this” memo sent to 130 employees because two of them committed some offence. Of course, the memo irritated 128 people, and the two offenders really did not grasp the problem. The boss should have taken the time to meet face to face with the two people in question.

Be Accepting of the Other Person

Try to be accepting of the other person as an individual who has the right to have feelings and perceptions that may differ from your own. You can accept the person even if you are unhappy with something that he or she has done. Having empathy with others (trying to put yourself in their place and see things from their perspective) will increase your acceptance of them. Acting superior or arrogant works against acceptance.

Do Not Confuse the Person with the Problem

Although you should be accepting of others, it is generally useful to be problem oriented rather than person oriented. For example, suppose an employee does something that you think might have offended a client. It is probably better to focus on this view of the problem than to impute motives to the employee (“Don’t you care about the client’s needs?”). The focus should be on what the person did, not who the person is. Along these same lines, try to be more descriptive rather than evaluative. Again, focus on what exactly the employee did to the client, not how bad the consequences are.

Say What You Feel

More specifically, be sure that your words, thoughts, feelings, and actions exhibit congruence—that they all contain the same message. A common problem is soft-pedalling bad news, such as saying that someone’s job is probably secure when you feel that it probably is not. However, congruence can also be a problem with positive messages. Some managers find it notoriously difficult to praise excellent work or even to reinforce routine good performance. Congruence can be thought of as honesty or authenticity, but you should not confuse it with brutal frankness or cruelty. Also, remember that in some high-context cultures, “saying what you feel” is done very indirectly. Still, the words and feelings are congruent in their own context.

Listen Actively

Effective communication requires good listening. People who are preoccupied with themselves or who simply hear what they expect to hear are not good listeners. Good listening improves the accuracy of your reception, but it also shows acceptance of the speaker and encourages self-reflection on his or her part. Good listening is not a passive process. Rather, good communicators employ active listening to get the most out of an interaction. Techniques of active listening include the following:

• Watch your body language. Sit up, lean forward, and maintain eye contact with the speaker. This shows that you are paying attention and are interested in what the speaker is saying. (This is another aspect of congruence.)
• Paraphrase what the speaker means. Reflecting back what the speaker has said shows interest and ensures that you have received the correct message.
• Show empathy. When appropriate, show that you understand the feelings that the speaker is trying to convey. A phrase such as “Yes, that client has irritated me, too” might fill the bill.
• Ask questions. Have people repeat, clarify, or elaborate what they are saying. Avoid asking leading questions that are designed to pursue some agenda that you have.
• Wait out pauses. Do not feel pressured to talk when the speaker goes silent. This discourages him or her from elaborating.

Give Timely and Specific Feedback

When you initiate communication to provide others with feedback about their behaviour, do it soon and be explicit. Speed maximizes the reinforcement potential of the message, and explicitness maximizes its usefulness to the recipient. Say what was good about the person’s presentation to the client, and say it soon.